Now picture that, belching and wheezing at the sheer quantity of food, liquid, bile and phlegm sloshing around inside his obscenely swollen belly, he pulls a dinner jacket onto his bloated, horrible torso. Now picture that he drinks nine gallons of Coca-Cola, pre-shaken for maximum gassiness. Now picture that he eats 300 more cream cakes. Now picture that he has a lactose intolerance that causes temporary but rapid expansion of his guts. Now picture him following that up with 300 more cream cakes. A few weeks after its console version, it's not out on PC - here's what I made of it. This time, though, we're in the New World - America in the throes of revolution against its British rulers/oppressors. Like its predecessors, it has you playing a historical 'assassin' who divides his time between free-running across rooftops, hunting down and killing members of a sinister conspiracy and collecting feathers, with sci-fi diversions into a modern-day tale of one of his descendants trying to prevent an apocalypse. Assassin's Creed III is the fifth in Ubisoft's open-world action series.
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